Herpes sex dating

He had been infected as a teenager and was used to managing outbreaks and mixed reactions from partners, which explains why he was so patient with me.

The fact that he'd been honest about this pretty major thing before we'd even met was a testament to how trustworthy he was, and maybe because of that, I continued to pursue him.

It would be like telling everyone that I have the flu, but hadn’t shown any symptoms, so it was only a possibility.

Instead, I got out ye olde hand mirror every few days and checked out my genital area for any abnormalities or bumps.

When we met offline, we became intimate very quickly, but we abstained from having intercourse.

He told me I could take as much time as I needed to feel comfortable having sex with him.

I told her what was happening and she covered for me at our mutual workplace for a few days while I watched with ice on my crotch, and was just an essential lifeline.

As a woman with a deep-seated fear of HIV and plenty of education on the subject, I realized that I hadn’t spent much time studying the ramifications of the herpes simplex virus (HSV). A common misconception is that HSV I is exclusive to the mouth and HSV II is exclusive to the genitals.

It’s true that the majority of the time, genital outbreaks are symptomatic of HSV II, but you can be infected by either type in either location, or even have both types in a given location — which makes me think that, functionally speaking, distinguishing between oral and genital infections is pointless.

If you can asymptomatically shed the virus from any point of your body and it can infect any point of another person’s body, isn’t any type or location of herpes just…herpes?

I took immune-boosting supplements (even though research on supplements to prevent herpes is inconclusive) and made sure he was taking his herpes medication, which decreases chances of transmission as well as his frequency of outbreaks — and then we just kind of went about our sex lives without fretting too much. We decided to be mostly monogamous, agreeing that when we were in the same city, we would only see each other. Should I then disclose to my new partners that I have genital herpes?

After the relationship ended (for non-STI reasons), I wanted to get tested for HSV II, but my doctor said that because it takes so long to build up antibodies, results would be inconclusive. After a long discussion over the ethics of herpes, my doctor and I decided that it was unnecessary to tell future partners that I’d come into contact with it — because, after all, most sexual adults likely have, too.

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